While looking ahead at the coming year, I’m aware of much of my energy taken up, caught up, stuck in, holding onto an old way of being. This way included but was not limited to: being hurt, invalidated, talked about unkindly, and competed with fiercely. Waaahhh!
So I am planning to give a great gift to myself this season. The greatest gift I can think of. It won’t cost me a dime, and will help me reclaim much of my energy, healing myself in the process. It’ll also clear out a lot of the cobwebs that have been collecting in my space.
As I give this gift to myself, I will also be giving it to others. Killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. Some of them may never know I am giving them a gift, because shhh, it’s really for me! Selfish?
What is this valuable gift, this amazing substance? Forgiveness. Forgiving myself first, for everything, for not being perfect, for being a sometimes ornery stubborn impatient cranky insecure thoughtless HUMAN. Jeez Louise, am I ever wrong sometimes! (Who’s Louise, and why does her name often begin with ‘Jeez’?)
Then forgiving others: my mean 3rd grade teacher, ex’s, (none of mine live in Texas), people who have decided I am so nasty wrong and evil, anyone who ever lied to me… the list could be endless. but I am deciding to end it, because I want to move on from holding onto all this crap.
I saw an amazing documentary a year ago, ‘Forgiving Dr. Mengele‘. It is the story of Eva Mozes Kor, who was sent as a child, along with her twin sister, to Auschwitz. Dr. Josef Mengele was the Nazi doctor who performed cruel experiments on Jewish twins in that camp. This documentary is the story of how she decided many years later to forgive the Nazis, including Dr. Mengele. And she clearly states that she did it for herself. She goes on to say that the pain in her body went away, and she healed her life in a big way.
The most interesting thing she experienced from doing this is the wrath of some other survivors. Some of them were just angry, how dare she forgive the Nazis?? She has gone on speaking tours, and held forgiveness rallies at Auschwitz and other camps. She is inspiring, and I highly recommend seeing this film. If one woman who experienced unbelievable cruelty at the hands of vicious humans can forgive, why not each of us?
©Kris Cahill 2007-2012 All Rights Reserved.