Ain’t nobody’s business if I have peace within

redleafThere ain’t nothing I can do
Or nothing I can say
That folks don’t criticize me
But I’m going to do
Just as I want to anyway
And don’t care just what people say

~Billy Holiday, “Ain’t Nobody’s Business If I Do”

I read something recently that struck me, a prayer that went something along the lines of: “I pray that I may live my life unworried about what others think of me…” and so on.

Can you imagine your peace of mind if you really had that much neutrality? That is, that you didn’t care what others thought? If you lived unconcerned about the judgment you’d receive from the people who just couldn’t handle your choices, because they were not their own? Or they would have loved to make the same choices but weren’t as brave as you?

Many people walk around feeling wrong because they dared to make different choices than what their family would have wanted, or what their group would allow. Or they were going along to get along, as the saying goes, and hating every minute: “I can’t change this, because I’d disappoint so and so” or “I can’t show the real me, because nobody will like that”. I call it being the great convenience store – for everyone else. Though they could not live as others would have them live, for some reason they still need the approval of that group that they didn’t want to be like to begin with. It’s not the safest thing to disagree with the group; you might get ostracized, criticized, made fun of, or even worse. Oh dear, you might even disappoint someone who once had such high hopes for you!

I remember being at a wedding years ago, and having a discussion with a man who was making fun of the part of town I’d chosen to live in, which was far away from the neighborhood I’d grown up in, more in attitude than distance. He was deeply entrenched in the old neighborhood, though his lifestyle choices would have been greatly frowned upon if he’d been open about them. I wanted to live in a neighborhood with much more diversity in every way. When he gave me a hard time about where I lived, I said, “but that’s where my people are!”. I didn’t realize the full truth of that statement until that moment.

Having chosen differently from many others around me since childhood, I’ve gotten used to this kind of thing. I once thought there was something wrong with me because I just didn’t fit in, though believe me, I tried to. It is still my deepest desire to fully find the neutrality to just not worry about what others will think of me if I say this or that, paint this or that, or tell the whole world that I am a psychic and not give a damn if anyone has a problem with it. I’m interested in finding my own validation from within. So that, no matter what happens outside of me, I’ve got it. I know that once I’ve built it up for myself, nobody and nothing can take it away.

As a psychic and teacher, this is one of the biggest things I work on with my clients and students. Many people want to have the nerve to make different choices, to feel as if their lives are their own, to feel real. Letting go of the judgment is a great way to begin finding that freedom within.

Finding the peace within may be as simple as deciding to stop judging oneself, so that the incoming judgment no longer has a place to live. Also, who are you judging? Stop it! Why not try having judgment free days? I can see it now: Judgment Free Monday, or Tuesday, Wednesday… I’m hereby declaring a new holiday on Planet Earth. Pick your day of the week, and practice non-judgment for a full 24 hours . Notice the results. I’m betting they will be profound.

‘Psychic Everyday’ ©Kris Cahill  2007-2012  All Rights Reserved
Photo: ‘Red Leaf’ ©Karas Cahill on Flickr

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