Is it really your responsibility?

spinningWheelToday’s question addresses the topic of Responsibility.

I want to make a difference and heal the planet. To help others. What are my responsibilities on this planet?

This is one of my very favorite topics, since I have so much in common with those who have taken on a lot of responsibility. I was raised to be responsible, for everything and everyone. What I have learned how to do over many years is to unlearn some of the behaviors around this issue. To disconnect from the demands to take on for others, that which was not my job to do in the first place. To become conscious of how I was getting validated and basing my value on how responsible I could be.

Did you know that being responsible for others who refuse to be so for themselves can 1) make you sick, 2) stop you from creating what you want, 3) create a whole lot more karma with those people? Among other things. And here you were just trying to be a good person and save the world! That’s good, right? Taking other’s burdens on?

Now, I am not referring to conscious giving, volunteering, helping. There is Giving, and then there is Giving Away. Giving can make you feel good. To help someone who could use a helping hand, whether it’s teaching someone a skill, volunteering at a homeless shelter, giving of yourself to those having a tough time.

Giving Away feels like your energy is being sucked out of you. Like the energy vampires walked into the room and got your energy, and it is mysteriously gone. Have you ever been around someone who had that kind of effect on you? Whether they are negative, mean, needy, or invalidating, it’s all the same thing. There goes your energy, if you aren’t careful.

I had a friend years ago who became very needy and angry. I thought I had to heal her, and that I actually could. My body began giving me signals that this friendship was taking a toll on me. Every time I had plans to see my friend, my stomach would hurt. As I generally have a cast iron stomach, it was hard to ignore this for long. I ended the friendship, let go of any responsibility I’d felt for this person.

This is about having the ability to walk into a room and know without being told what everyone in there needs and wants, and to set out to provide that. To feel so responsible that much of the time you find yourself apologizing for things that have nothing to do with you. To lie awake at night wondering how you might solve this person’s problem or help that one see the light.

Did you know you are actually using your psychic abilities to do all of this? That you are a healer? Being Psychic means being sensitive to and aware of energy. Maybe this holds the key to the mystery of why you often get tired after being around the needy people in your life.

As you become aware of the energy of responsibility in your life, you can begin to ask yourself some direct questions. Have you been allowing others’ needs to come before yours? Do you use other people’s stuff as an excuse to not do what it is you want to do? Are you responsible for your body, emotions, health, actions, words? Becoming conscious of the effect of this energy, and how it is used, can make all the difference in how you see yourself and in what you are able to have.

If you want to heal the planet, begin with yourself. You can have a far greater healing effect on others than you might know, simply by being well yourself. It is less about Doing, and more about Being.

©Kris Cahill 2007-2012  ~
Photo: Geek Philosopher

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7 thoughts on “Is it really your responsibility?

  1. Really solid advice for everyone–thanks for writing about this.

    I just wanted to let you know something I’ve learned about the TITLES of posts: Having the same title (in this case, every Monday) is confusing to the search engines who are looking at our blogs. It’s not recommended, but I added a word to my same titles, trying to make each one its own unique URL, like this:
    Psychic Question Mondays: Responsibility

    Take care.

  2. Thanks for this post. It was just what I needed to read today, this Monday morning when I just can not bring myself to even think about my work. I’m just so tired. Not physically, but emotionally. I work with young people and their carers in the foster care system and am often so surpised how little the effects of transference are recognised by those who work in this field. Typically it’s the policy makers who sit in their offices and have no idea what the ground work entails. And, typically, those in the helping professions often seem to be so drawn due to their (our) own need for “help” ! So it can create a vicious cycle. If you have any further advice on how to protect oneself from the responsibility of tapping into other people’s burdens to the point that it sinks your own even further, please guide me so !

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