Responsibility, part two

Today’s Psychic Question is a continuation of last week’s post on responsibility. Here’s a comment I received on that post:

“Thanks for this post. It was just what I needed to read today, this Monday morning when I just can not bring myself to even think about my work. I’m just so tired. Not physically, but emotionally. I work with young people and their carers in the foster care system and am often so surprised how little the effects of transference are recognised by those who work in this field. Typically it’s the policy makers who sit in their offices and have no idea what the ground work entails. And, typically, those in the helping professions often seem to be so drawn due to their (our) own need for “help” ! So it can create a vicious cycle. If you have any further advice on how to protect oneself from the responsibility of tapping into other people’s burdens to the point that it sinks your own even further, please guide me so!”

Thanks to Colleen for the insightful question. There is no simple solution to this problem, because there is simply no way to solve taking on other energies that are not you. You can never solve problems you did not create. Instead, you can learn to let them go, and to begin the process of healing yourself. As another healer who took on what was not hers for many years, I can assure you that as long as you agree to take on other people’s pain, it will continue to make you sick and tired.

You are right on track with your awareness of where the fatigue is coming from. By matching to and trying to heal the difficulties you are handling daily, you are taking on much without meaning to. The energy of pain can only be let go of. Pain simply is, and will continue to be. When you take on other people’s pain, it affects every aspect of your being; physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

Your own energy is unique and very healing to you. Your own energy, when it is inside of you, creates happiness, health, beauty, joy. Your own energy will never harm you or make you sick. Other energies simply do not work inside of you, because they are not yours. A good number of those toxic energies simply need to be let go of.

You are learning now, through your life experiences in this job, what happens when you take on responsibilities that aren’t yours. You are a healer, and your first responsibility is to heal yourself. If you look around at those who have been doing this kind of job for a long time, you will no doubt see the effects of taking on harmful and negative energies over many years.

I suggest that you learn some tools and techniques for healing yourself. Find a good meditation class that will teach you to ground, let go, and have neutrality. If you begin the process of learning more about yourself, you will begin to know which energy is yours and which isn’t. This is the most valuable thing you can learn. Everything you create will depend on this. If you can begin to see yourself and your value clearly, you will be more able to let go of those heavy uncomfortable energies. This will make it easier for you to have what you want.

This does not mean you can’t do the job you have now. It’s just that you will be able to do it differently. Perhaps you’ve been basing your value on what you can do for others, or maybe you’ve been feeling guilty about all the pain in the world. You become a healing force on this planet in a whole new way by becoming conscious of your own energy and healing yourself first. Then, wherever you go and whatever you are doing, you bring that with you.

©Kris Cahill  2007-2012  All Rights Reserved  ~
Photo: ‘Sylvia’s Sunflower’ ©Debi Cates

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4 thoughts on “Responsibility, part two

  1. Hi Kris, thanks for responding to my question so thouroughly. You are spot on to suggest that perhaps I have been considering my self-worth purely on wht I can acheive for others. The balance is definitely “out of whack”. I will continue the journey of self-discovery and healing. The practice of meditation is something I have neglected so I will set out to find a class today !
    Thanks again,


  2. Earlier this year, Kris gave me a phone reading. It was there I first learned her wise advice against taking on pain that wasn’t mine — a common risk for women. It has taken me some months to absorb that, but I can say once it began to become clear in my life, it was liberating! Just recognizing it has been an enormous step, providing a kind of emotional shield.

    Good luck to you, Colleen.

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