Not that those decades were a waste of time and energy, in fact I am pretty proud of the many things I did and created during my 1’s, 10’s and 20’s. I Invented Things and Made Stuff. I was a dreamer, and also a warrior. I tended to become a warrior when others were being treated unfairly, often forgetting to take care of myself. I was (and still am) a Healer. I believe in treating other people kindly.
Right around the time I entered my 30’s, I started feeling very uncomfortable with how things were going, and I started wanting More. Not more Stuff, though I’m not against it. I know today that what I was longing for was more of Me present and accounted for. I was driven, and the first place I started looking was at alternative methods of healing myself. Something inside of me just knew that there were better ways to do things than depend on the antibiotics I’d been raised on, and which I now avoided as much as possible. Still, I was often sick, getting every cold that came along. I well remember the winter I had the most miserable flu ever. My entire body hurt like hell for days.
I started learning about herbs and supplements, and better ways of eating. I also was sent by a psychic I trusted to a great naprapath who helped me with nutrition. I realized I needed to pay more attention to my body, and became fascinated with reading about and implementing new ideas regarding my health. Along the way, I began to understand that my body and energy were being adversely affected by the negative energies coming from other people, and my friendships began to change. I “broke up” with friends who I began to see as energy suckers. Black holes of negativity no longer had room in my life. This was an eye opening experience. Suddenly I wasn’t going along to get along; I was consciously leaving people in the dust. I didn’t have the same guilt tugging at me the same way, though it was still quite a force directing me.
It wasn’t until I was on the threshold of turning 40 that I stepped onto the path I’m on now, the path that has helped me heal in a deeper way than I could have imagined. I have permission to have my space in a way I didn’t have for over 40 years. To have it now is an incredible miracle. I just needed to get out of my own way, and decide to have me back again. To understand that I am more important in my own space than any other energy. To listen more carefully to my body, and to take good care of it.
I learned to meditate at 40, and have done so most every day since then. I went on to train as a clairvoyant, and to become a healer who could heal herself. Wow, such riches, and they were within me the whole time. Within a year of my training, I was teaching others that they too had the ability to do this for themselves. Meanwhile, I am continuing to grow and learn for myself what it is I know, to dig deeper for my own wealth.
These days, as a meditation teacher, I take great pleasure in turning on the light for others, showing them that it is possible to create miracles in their lives. It is up to them to do their own work. What is so much fun about my job these days is that many people are being driven, not further outside of themselves, but deeper within. They are looking for information and tools so that they can discover what it is they have inside already. Like gold miners, digging for treasure. I want to live in a world where people are working more consciously and honestly from themselves and their own truth. What a happy place that will be, once we decide to create it.
©Kris Cahill 2007-2012