“I recognize the process of leaving behind negative energy, except that I have not finished the process and have not filled in the empty space with positive energy other than my own and that is awfully lonely. I am afraid to trust other people’s positive energy and don’t know if I will be drawn to the right persons. I’m afraid that I will attract people who will zap me dry again and I’m very much on guard. I have two friends whom I trust but one of them lives a distance away from me. The other one I see once a week. I need more human contact, but am afraid to take the steps to achieve this. I’ve turned into a lonely woman, although I like being alone a lot, but I know I need more people around me. Do you know how I can achieve this?”
Your own energy is the most healing energy you can have within you, but if it has been invalidated in the past, it may not feel good to you. You may be more afraid of trusting yourself and your choices as a result. It is simply the place you are learning and growing right now. You are not wrong to be careful. You are trying to protect yourself so that you do not repeat old patterns.
Another way to say this, and I think this is a common issue for many people, is that because you are very sensitive to energy, you are afraid and unwilling to subject yourself to harsh or difficult energies coming from others. It may take you a long time to heal from or release those energies. This does not make you wrong or weak. In fact, it is those sensitivities you have that make you unique and able to create what it is you create.
I agree with you that it is important to be able to have caring and giving people in your life. It can be so easy to lose perspective when feeling isolated, and the best way I know of to avoid this is human contact. With happy nice people, who love life and live it. We can all give each other a bit of perspective. One reason I truly enjoy the wide variety of people on this planet is that I learn so much from those who do not see things the way I do. I may not always agree with them, but I can sure try to see where they are coming from, and perhaps gain a bit of understanding in the process.
What is fun to know is that every relationship you create for yourself begins from the one you have with yourself. If you have a happy and loving relationship with yourself, and speak kindly to you, it is much easier to create that kind of relationship with others. If, however, you are very critical and demanding of yourself, and don’t give good thoughts and energy to you, that is also what you will attract. Simply put, you will attract to yourself what it is you feel you can have or deserve.
Another thing you can do is find a gentle and grounded meditation class. Learn some tools to ground, protect and heal yourself. Someday meditation will be seen as yoga is now, a very simple and common way to heal oneself. You are on a self healing path, and if you can trust that you know what you are about, and also how to release energy and protect yourself, you will find it easier to be out in the world around other people.
I can assure you that fear is not your own energy. You may have fear within you, and it can keep you isolated. You may want to think of it as a vampire, sucking your own precious energy from you. Fear is not your truth, and you don’t have to entertain it anymore. Learning to safely let go of what is not you, will be wonderfully healing for you. Then you can bring your own energy back and have it within you in a happy way.
This is an everyday process, and by no means perfect. None of us has to be perfect either, how boring would that be? Sometimes the energy you are handling simply doesn’t make sense, and just needs to be let go of. It does not need to be solved, analyzed, or decoded. Just Let It Go. Some energies that can help: forgiveness, gratitude, and having fun.
I wish you much peace, happiness, and joy! Thank you for reading.
©Kris Cahill 2007-2012 All Rights Reserved.