This can literally be an eye opening experience for you. It’s hard to get to really know yourself, if you are constantly matched to other people.
Some people are fine with this, the matching that is. It makes them nervous to be solo, to go it alone. Stepping away from the group can be risky. Someone might get their feelings hurt. What if you anger someone when doing this?
What is interesting to see is who you’ve been matched to on this journey. You may not even be aware that you are matched to anyone, until you step away, that is. As soon as you do this, you will very likely hear about it. Where have you been? How could you step away? Why did you change? Others may take it personally, feel dissed, when it is not about them at all. Perhaps you’ve been healing someone, and you stop doing so. That person may get upset. There is nothing you can do about that, unless you want to go back and heal them again.
Perhaps it begins as a feeling within you, an intuition. You just want to be alone, have some quiet time, heal yourself, create something new. You don’t feel like being around everyone else’s stuff all the time. You are seeking some peace and quiet to find this thing you know is there. It’s not about the others, it’s yours personally, which doesn’t need to be explained to anyone else. If you have ever outgrown an old role, moved past an old comfort zone, a former you that no longer fits, you have left people behind. This is all about you finding yourself, in a new and more wonderful way.
So many people have a hard time doing this. It is a difficult thing to step away and have one’s autonomy with the pack. To live your own true life, it is important to make sure you are able to create for yourself, without needing others to approve or validate. Yes, validation is a wonderful thing, and it’s nice to get feedback. Yes, we do need each other. However, if your ability to have what it is that you want is based on what others think or feel about that, you may not get what you want. You may not even get to know what that is, if you keep asking for permission before going off to find it.
There will always be demands that you find your answers based on what the “experts” have said is real, true, or even possible. Whether those experts are your teachers, counselors, religious leaders, bosses, parents, friends… if you want to find your own answers to your life, you must be the expert on yourself. The best you can do is stay on track and be true to yourself.
Learning to listen to your own body, intuition, and feelings will make it easier to find your own answers. The only person who can write your own true story, is you. You are the expert.
©Kris Cahill 2007-2012 All Rights Reserved.