The holidays are coming up, and those of us (meaning me – hah) who are going through major growth and changes are fearful of starting anything big or new during this crazy time. How do I maintain my growth spiral with all the temptations and distractions of nutty family stories, friends parties, … other events, fattening foods and alcohol, not to mention other people’s expectations? How do I remain grounded? It’s challenging enough already trying to get grounded. This seems like it will be even harder in the coming two months.
It’s like this every year, isn’t it? Oh no, the Holidays are coming! It certainly doesn’t help that they start before Halloween, in the retail world that is. Things are especially nutty this year, due to all of the major shifts and explosions going on now. The energy continues to roll and rumble, the changes march on. Look at what is going on today: good affordable health care is at stake, job losses continue, there is a huge battle for the control of resources in the US and on this planet, unnecessary wars continue to rage while also tapping the resources needed to create a healthy happy life for many. Everything feels a bit unreal this year. Business as usual.
Add to all of this the emotional stress of trying to have the perfect holiday. Maybe you aren’t the one who requires a perfect holiday, but are affected by those who do. That looks to me like some of the energy you may be handling now. You don’t have to resist it, or figure it all out. Maybe doing the opposite is the healing for your holidays this year.
Do you remember a time when it all felt fun, kind of like magic? When what was most important was what mattered: the people you love, a kind of excitement, the inner knowing that something special was here? When there was no effort about any of this, just a special feeling? Perhaps you last had this kind of feeling as a child. This is what will help you to get through this time: remembering this feeling for yourself. Even if people all around you are spazzing out and needing a lot of attention, you can still be amused and let it roll off your back. Yes, like a duck.
Another thing you may want to try is this: sit still and think of how you want your holidays to go this year. Yes, they are yours too. If you have been losing your space during the holidays, perhaps you forgot all about them also being yours. Create an image of you having fun doing what you want to do this holiday season. Forget about the demands coming from others. These are not necessary to answer, and can often take a lot of your energy with them. To have what you want, you need to be honest about what it is you want. Then have it.
You honestly don’t need to spend two months of each year giving up your space to the holidays out there. Bring the holidays you want inside of you, that is to say, make your holidays your reality. Give yourself time to sit and ground. Be honest about how much time and space you can give to others. Take care of yourself. This is a special time of year, and you do not need to begin another new year wishing and vowing you’ll do things differently next year. The consciousness you grow this year can change how things go for you from now on. That is far more important than rushing around like mad while also feeling guilty that perhaps you didn’t do, have, give enough. You already are enough, just by being.
As an adult, you can begin to create your own holiday rituals, if you haven’t already done so. Maybe one of the new rituals you create is that you get to actually enjoy your own holidays.