When awareness dawns on you, is it like watching the sun rise? What had been hidden under cover of darkness before, is fully exposed in the light. Now that you see it, it’s hard to pretend it doesn’t exist. It’s real now.
This awareness can be a welcoming thing, and it can also be a sudden shock to your system. You may suddenly realize something about yourself or other people that helps you to see things in a new way, and you grow. You may also need to go through a period of mourning for what was, for your illusions about what existed. Being ‘disillusioned’ simply means you no longer have those illusions. Now you can work from a place of truth, of clarity and consciousness.
When you are certain that you already know everything, when you are very firmly entrenched in your own belief system, when you’ve holed up behind the shield of your dogma, you might feel comfortable being there, but you will have a hell of a time learning anything new. In other words, if you already know everything, you won’t be able to learn anything else.
Sometimes people are just terrified of being wrong, or making a mistake. It’s really hard to admit when one is wrong at times, hard to own up to it, and give up the fight for one’s belief as being the right one. Surrendering to what is, is difficult if your energy is tied into what you think should be. When people are in fear of losing control, they are also unconscious to the fact that there really is no control to begin with.
Unconsciousness can be defined as being unaware. Unconsciousness can be a shield one hides behind, or simply a state of innocence. You may be so unconscious to some things that you aren’t even aware of what you’re not aware of. A good question to ask yourself might be, ‘what don’t I know that I don’t know yet?’.
You’re not wrong for not knowing those things. Wouldn’t it be boring to already know everything? Part of the joy and beauty of life is that it’s a journey, and you get to make new discoveries along the way. If you go searching for a belief system to plug yourself into, that may take some of the uncertainty out of your journey, but it’ll also take some of the fun and validation as well.
By discovering who you are and what makes you tick, you learn valuable information about yourself that nobody else can give to you. Others can help along the way, but in the end, it’s your job to walk your own path, consciously or not.