If you know that you have value, just by being you, your life will flow in an easier way for you. If you know yourself and love what you know, all of it, even the rough bits, you’ll be able to create a positive self image.
If you allow your value to be determined by others, by how useful you are to them, you may find yourself constantly running around taking care of them, trying to prove your worth. You are allowing your validation to come from outside of yourself. Your energy will be spent proving your worthiness to others. The problem with this is that you still won’t know it for yourself.
You have the power completely within you to decide how to see and treat yourself. If you decide you are talented, capable, intelligent, it will be easier for others to see these parts of you. They will have permission to see this, instead of seeing you ‘being’ invalidated or wrong.
This power is self determined – you don’t need permission from someone else to love yourself, for example. If you are waiting around for someone else to tell you it’s okay to be you, you may be waiting a long time. It’s easier to control a person who is invalidated and doesn’t know his or her own worth. Many people will be only too willing to take advantage of your lack of self awareness.
Some people are terrified of not fitting in. They will generally have the most difficult time finding out who they are, and then validating that uniqueness. Their fear of being ostracized by the group for being different has overcome their own curiosity about being themselves, finding out what makes them tick, and enjoying that. Group mentality will control those who surrender their spirits to the group, as in “we’re all in this together, sink or swim!”. What happens then to the brilliance and invention that only individuals working from themselves can find?
Many famous artists and creators of all stripes mention having always been a bit different from others, not quite fitting in. This can be painful when one is young, depending on the circumstances one is in, and how much creative freedom one has. However, once you reach adulthood, it is your job to do this for yourself. You can no longer blame others for your failure to fully become yourself.
The way forward to your own true life, is from the inside of you. Get to know and love yourself. Meditate, take time to breathe, spend time asking yourself the good questions, listen to your body. If you decide to make your own inner truth real, it will become so. By redefining how you see yourself, others will follow.