Just gimme the truth

This is a guest post by Noel Olken

May is Healing Month here on Psychic Everyday, and I offered to write a guest post for Kris about truth and honesty and healing. I thought it would be a good way to practice telling the truth.

Truth and honesty are healing. Very healing, for you and for the world around you. If you are in truth, everyone around you will match to that truth. But if you are in a lie, you will attract liars to you like a turd attracts flies.

When you tell the truth, when you are honest with your self, you will never regret it. You will never hurt yourself. And though they say that the truth hurts, I think it hurts less than a lie revealed.

You work out on running machines and lift weights to get strong and have more muscles. But what if I told you that truth is a muscle too?

If you tell the truth, you will never have to remember what you said. Mark Twain said that, and it’s true.

If you tell the truth, you will never lie awake at night wondering about what could have been if only you told a lie that day when you told the truth about that thing that never turned into a big deal because you told the truth.  Do you really think you’ll one day regret not having all the problems that would have come about if you had lied and got caught? No, I doubt you will. The truth just feels good.

Here is a hypothetical situation that comes up in my world sometimes. Say you go hear some friends play music, or perform in a play, or see their movie, and if you don’t like it, what do you say afterward when they ask you, “So? Whadjya think?”

If you really liked it, then it’s easy, say it. Or even if you didn’t like all of it, you can talk about the parts you really did like. But even here you are starting to get into a gray area: is a lie of omission still a lie? Well, if you hated the costumes, and your friend was an actor, and no one specifically asks you what you thought about the costumes, then you are not really lying if you don’t say anything about the costumes, right?

But what if your friend is the costumer? Then you have to say something. If you hated it, you have to say so. Your friend may get mad, or might completely agree with you, but if you just lied and said everything was great, they wouldn’t know what you really thought and you would both lose a great opportunity.

My point is, telling the truth is like a muscle. The more you practice, the stronger it grows. Try working out your truth muscles this month. Try to tell only the truth, every day, every hour, every minute. See how that goes for a month.

Can you do it? Start right now by telling me what you thought about this post.

And tell the truth. I can take it.

©Noel Olken

Host: The Noel Olken Show. (Who the F*CK is Noel Olken?)

‘Blue Foundation live’ ©Stig Nygaard on Flickr
http://PsychicEveryday.com

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7 thoughts on “Just gimme the truth

  1. Thank you for this timely post. The truth sets us free. Forgiving ourselves for the times we tell un-truths to ourselves and others is important too. We make mistakes. We correct and move on. Sometimes we (I) get stuck in that muck of imperfection.

    One exercise I like about telling the truth in uncomfortable situations is to sandwich the discomfort between two layers of comfortable truth. We can tell our truth without being harsh or critical. I’m still not sure that *constructive criticism* actually exists. What do you think?

    • I like the truth sandwich. I think criticism can be constructive, informative, even enlightening, but if it is, you know it, you don’t have to even call it *constructive criticism*.
      Thanks for taking the time to write.

  2. I just read this quote yesterday in The Sun: “Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically—for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist—but then what isn’t?” (Quentin Crisp) Been thinking about that one since I read it. Funny this post came along the very next day.

    • I know what he means, lying can be fun, if it doesn’t hurt any one. Like when I tell the coffee drink order taker my name is Bealzebub and watch him try to write it on the side of a cup. And of course polite society is built on lies – which is why I think it is neither polite or very social. Good manners? What is that but learning to lie with diplomacy. Who needs it.

  3. Telling the truth is sometimes uncomfortable. I like to “psych” myself up for difficult (but necessary) truth-telling by acknowledging it in advance — thinking or saying to myself, “This is going to stink, it will be uncomfortable, but it will be over soon.” I feel that helps.

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